When life hits you with a “no”

When things don’t go my way, when life isn’t laid out smoothly before me, or when I hear that dreaded “no,” I’m plunged into discouragement. It's like a little voice taunts me, “Aha! See! Told you, god, you are against me.” I once had someone say, “All you want is the path of least resistance.” Well, yes, that’s precisely the path I’m longing for. I observe those who are perpetually in awe of life, who find beauty in everything and seem so grateful just to be alive, and I can’t help but wonder if I mistakenly got off at the wrong train station.

 I ponder my own beautiful life, realizing I have many reasons to see it as the greatest gift… yet some days, I can’t wait for the final scene in the third act. Maybe it comes from a lifetime of believing that life should be easy, that it should feel good…ALL. THE. TIME. 

Any hint of discomfort, any glimmer of challenge, feels like evidence that life is straying from its intended course. Hedonists, in their relentless pursuit of pleasure, seem to exist in the worst delusion of all… if life revolves around pleasure, then what is this all about? I’m completely aware of how this mindset has poisoned my mental well being. Sometimes, life is just really, really painful. Sometimes, it’s not.

Have you ever ventured into a restaurant plagued by awful reviews? Everyone insists it’s terrible, yet you go, and surprisingly, it’s not as bad as everyone said, it’s actually kind of good. You think, “Maybe I’ll come back for more.” Now, let’s apply that perspective to life. Expectation is everything. I often fall into the trap of expecting everything to arrive on a silver platter, spoon-fed and perfect. That mindset? It’s a recipe for disaster.

 Because life isn’t just about pleasure, it isn’t meaningless, it’s not simply a logical puzzle, nor is it constant suffering. It’s a strange amalgamation of all those elements, just not in isolation. Life is about experiencing a rich tapestry of emotions and embracing each one as it comes. Flea, the bassist from a not so well known band, shared a heartfelt story about seeing his yoga teacher on the street. 

When she asked how he was doing, he replied, “Terrible! I feel like shit!” Her reply,“Well, god will keep beating you over the head until you learn to say thank you, may I have another, and accept where you are and love where you are.” If you relate to me even a bit, read that line each morning.

Our world is stuffed with saturated phrases like “gratitude.” You’re often encouraged to grab a gratitude journal and jot down things you’re thankful for every day. It can be as though the word just loses the meaning, hearing it so often. Just be grateful. Ironically, that mindset faced me today when I was met with a “no.” My initial reaction was that sense of hopelessness creeping in, but then I went to my altar, sat cross-legged, held my hands in prayer, and simply said “thank you”… although, I should add, it was with a slight side-eye. We’re learning though, right?